Not knowing what you want in life is far more common than most people think. I ask each of my clients what they want to achieve and where they want to get to and without exception they have no idea.
I guess the people who do know what they want don’t come to therapy as they are too busy achieving their goals. Most people drift through life at the mercy of the winds of fate without realizing that without direction they may just go around and around in circles all of their lives.
Then when they find out that it is important to set goals they decide they simply have no idea what they want out of life. Often though this is far from the truth, most people have secret desires and dreams but they repress them because they think they are impossible.
The first thing to recognize is that not having a vision indicates a blockage within you. It’s a natural tendency to want certain things in life and to deeply enjoy getting them. If you have no great or deep desires, no vision of what they might or how they might look, there are probably compelling reasons for their absence.
All of these can be addressed by EFT and some of the EFT statements that can be used for this purpose are:
“Even though I have no idea what I want, I choose to feel entitled to know.”
“Even though I have no vision of what I want, I choose to find the blocks that are preventing this vision.”
“Even though I have no vision of what I want, I choose to remember those incidents that robbed me of my right to know what I want.”
These are only a few of the EFT statements that might get you off to a good start.
The reasons why people don’t know what they want in life are extremely varied and almost all of them stem from early childhood experiences. Families can, for example, crush a child’s ability to know what they want by substituting their own wishes for those of the child.
For example: “Oh you don’t want to play with those children they’re not very nice.” This confuses the child and makes it more difficult to know what they actually want.
Children are often told not to ask for things and they grow up believing that have to wait until something is offered before they can have it. They are also told that asking for things is being greedy and selfish.
Then there’s the feeling of being undeserving. I remember how many times it was drummed into me as a child that I didn’t deserve nice things or that I deserved punishment when really it should have been the other way around.
It really doesn’t matter where your block started or came from, whatever the cause of the problem it can be addressed with EFT. To help this process along you could use the following all-encompassing statement. “Even though I don’t know what I want, I choose to find a creative way to use EFT to solve this problem.”
This important choice could well bring things into focus for you. It may take a bit of time to recognize your deepest wishes, because in order to stifle a child’s awareness of what they want it takes many repeated and often traumatic events to numb one of our deepest instincts.
Persistence however will pay off and if you encounter difficulties along the way you might want to seek some help form an experienced EFT therapist. I offer EFT by telephone and for more information visit my website https://www.makingpositivechanges.co.uk. While you’re there don’t forget to sign up for the free newsletter and get your free 61 page report on EFT.
The first step in knowing what you want may be using EFT for just that.
“Even though I don’t know what I want, I choose to see a future for me, for the first time.”
Use EFT to know what you want.
- Address your lack of clear goals by using an EFT statement such as, “Even though I don’t know what I want, I choose to find a creative way to use EFT to discover what that is.”
- If you have feelings of being un-deserving that were instilled into you as a child try using this EFT statement, “Even though I have no idea what I want, I choose to know that I deserve the very best in life.”
To your success Christine